THE ADVENTURES OF DICK PHILIPS - 1 -
ESCAPADE AT THE $5 CAFE
by Stephen Philip Means
                                                                     
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                                         DID YOU EVER LAUGH OUT LOUD?


Do remember the last time you sat down with a book and you had so much fun reading you laughed
out loud? When was the last time you had a belly laugh and so much fun you rolled on the floor?

It’s funny. Every time I re-read my own book, The Adventures of Dick Phillips-1- Escapade at the Five
Dollar Café . . . I laugh out loud. I’m sticking my foot in my mouth when I say this but . . . “My toes
really taste bad!”

                                         CAN YOU MAKE A PERSON LAUGH?

Probably not, but I understand extensive studies have been done and they discovered “secret,”
“arcane,” specially formulated pronunciations that cause people to break out in uncontrolled fits, roll
their eyes in their heads and crack up. Remember as a kid, someone might have said “spaghetti.”
Later, it got pronounced “pigetti,” and everybody laughed. One time I went up to the ice cream
counter to buy a raspberry wave ice cream and I couldn’t make my mouth work right and it kept
coming out “Wazberry. Wazberry. Give me a wazberry wave.”

                                           WHAT IS IT THAT DICK FILL-UPS?

Yeah, The Adventures of Dick Phillips has a lot of sexy scenes. Very explicit. Very naughty. The hero
of this story is a womanizer. Some of the people who reviewed my book said they bookmarked
certain pages, that certain parts were pretty hot and torrid. Do you like sexy action-adventures with a
twist ending? That’s part of the book, but mostly it’s a farce. Actually, it’s a parody. What’s a parody?
Good question.

                                                   WHAT IS A PARODY?

Have you ever heard of a “send up?” Another name is “spoof.” In technical terms it’s changing the
sublime into the ridiculous. Here’s an example. Remember Don Quixote? He was the knight who
charged a windmill thinking it was a dragon. The blades knocked him on his keaster, gave him a
wedgie, and he mooned his horse . . . Isn’t it true, don't words have a secret power to make you
laugh?

                                                 WHO CUT THE CHEESE?

Nobody. It’s my toe jam. I’ve still got my foot in my mouth. Boy oh boy. My gosh! Gag. Gad! Words can
make you sad or they can make you laugh. My foot’s keeping me from screaming: “You had better
buy my book. You’ll laugh your head off!”  But I can’t ask you to buy my book, can I, when you don’t
know anything about me. Should I tell you about myself? . . .Oh well . . .  if you insist.


                                                      AM I A PERVERT?

Of course not. I don’t think. Perverts think. I don’t do that anymore. Once I went to a porn site, but I
didn’t go in. I swear. Actually, damn it! I don’t even cuss. I’m a nice guy who wrote this comedy action
adventure series – The Adventures of Dick Phillips- a parody of sex and violence that’s set in the
future. It’s a science fiction action-adventure romantic-comedy farcical parody . . . that’s a mouthful
too . . . and no matter what
I’m not going to tell you anything more about it.

                                                              WHY?

“Why?” “Why” That sounds like one of my irritating kids . . . always bothering me, and when I finally
pay attention to them. “Okay, why?” They answer me back, “Why not!” Are you going to be a sucker
for that one? “Why?” I’ll tell you. Because I care about you. I want you to have a good read. I'll say it
again:
"I want you to have good read!"
       
                                                 
  A very, very good read!                              

If I spoil your curiosity by telling you all about it. I'll spoil the ending. Hasn’t this happened to you? . . .
You watch a movie trailer, that is -- a preview,-- and now you know all the funny scenes. One of your
friends starts rapping to you “Blah, blah, blah” and now you know how it ends. I care about you, so I
don’t want to spoil it for you. You have to buy the book to get three hours of laughs.

                                        Why Does Your Book Cost So Much?

                                                               
  “Why?!”

I’ll tell you why. I’m a mental midget. I can’t even type. I make a living by sticking my foot in my mouth.
Ugh! It tastes so bad the only thing that makes it better is the thought of lugging suit cases full of
your money down to the bank. Ha!
The Adventures of Dick Phillips is a funny book Actually, I had a lot
fun with this book. I loved writing it. I laughed out loud while I was writing. I want to make a lot money
on it. It took me years, but I laughed all the time.

                                                       “I Can’t Give It Away.”

Or can I? Here’s my special offer. If you purchase my book, The Adventures of Dick Phillips –
Escapade at the Five Dollar Café – and keep it and read it for thirty days, If you don’t love, I mean
really love it . . . enough to recommend it to your best friends – just send me an email, I’ll refund the
full price to you. No hassles, no questions.

                      This is a great book. Buy it now and start laughing.
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© 2010 Stephen P. Means; Wisdomgame
The Adventures of Dick Phillips. . . Escapade at the $5 Cafe . . .Written by Stephen P. Means . . . is an action adventure Novel set
sometime in the next century. Dick is a detective commissioned by Da Mo, the eternal man. Someone has stolen the Ching Da. This is
the eternal rejuvenation fluid that keeps Da Mo alive and balances good and evil. But evil is taking over. It's up to Dick to find the
Ching Da and set things right, but his nemeses Dr. Blood and his infernal time portholes are messing things up. I hope they don't take
you to the hospital when you read this. You will crack up and start rolling on the floor. . . or your money back!
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My Guarnatee: if you're not
%100 satisfied. If you don't
love this book and tell your
friends. . . I'll refund your
money.
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introduction - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ->
Author and Wisdomgame
founder Stephen P. Means.
"This book is so funny and
so packed with sex, action
and adventure . . . I can't
stop laughing .
wisdomgame is the registeded trademark #1 wisdom game to play t o gain knowledge thorugh experience.Wisdom words and Wisdom Pages.
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